Through the mill

Shepton Mallet C.C. 1st XI v Easton Cowboys C.C. Saturday XI

Having lost their home game against Shepton Mallet in May, the Cowboys' Saturday XI travelled south across the Mendips on the first weekend in June in anticipation of a tough away fixture. On paper it was a strong team, but would it hold up on grass, in a field at Oakhill?

The sky was heavy and the outfield thick with buttercups and daisies. Despite the drone of distant agricultural machinery it was not the weather for hay making - or losing the toss - and so it was with caution and watchfulness that the Cowboys' opening pair of DaveB and Angelo strode to the wicket.

The new cherry swerved and bounced awkwardly but tended to die on the occasions that it was stroked off the square. At times the opposition had three slips menacing for an edge. Within half an hour, both batsmen had been bowled and by the time Ben's resistance had ended in a similar fashion the score was still paltry.

Simon and Ev gradually adjusted to the conditions and change bowlers, lifting the ball - and with it, hopes of a defendable total - towards if not over the boundary. After successfully keeping out good bowling, it was disappointing but perhaps predictable that several batsmen fell to bad balls, unable to snaffle their pies without making a mess and causing their unnecessary demise.

Still, the innings was starting to get some colour in its cheeks, largely thanks to Ev (for whom the boundary markers had been cruelly located to deny him a couple of sixes from lofty blows) aided by Kalu's positive intent and Gretch's plucky solidity. Unable to find the boundary himself, your correspondent resorted to giving the opposition catching practice while scampering up and down, eventually finding the middle, of the fielder's grateful hands.

The tail maintained occupation of the crease until the final over, with Rob not out and promising more, Rich and Joe talking to the ducks and the score on 129.

At tea, on being asked by the skipper to open the bowling, your correspondent stuffed some standard fayre white rolls and muffins aside for later and loosened his truss. Kalu echoed an unorthodox attack from the other end.

The Shepton Mallet opening pair had scored over a hundred against the Cowboys in the season's earlier encounter and with bowling conditions less favourable than they had been a few hours before, it was going to be a hard task to restrict their cavalier confidence. It might have been an idea to have hidden archers in the woods into which they despatched the unfortunate Kalu in his first and second overs. Sticking to a plan of spin from one end, the skip then brought DaveB into the attack but the young opposition batsmen continued to go aerial.

On the rare occasion that the batsmen made errors in mistiming drives from the other end, the chances proved too tricky to cling onto and although pads were struck and stumps shaved, the longed-for breakthrough wouldn't come. Rich bowled tidily and got some swing but when he found a top edge, Gretch appeared to step onto an imaginary roundabout from which he emerged with the ball gone to earth. Your correspondent bowled out his eight overs wondering whether the cause might be bettered by another option: We'd be blinkered, apathetic automatons if we didn't each favour different bowling strategies, but it falls to the skipper to plot the course and sometimes walk the plank.

It wasn't until late in the day that Joe brought himself and Rob on to bowl, to no avail, as both batsmen cruised past their fifties, overhauling their target in the twenty-third over.

Ev's innings of 44 deservedly won the majority of Man of the Match nominations and the Cider Moment was either Gretch spinning out, Ev not getting a six, or the moment we drove past the Shepton Mallet cider mill.

Scorecard

Stereo Digitalis

10p

Demolition Darby and Joan

The Saffron Court home for the elderly in Whitehall is being demolished. It was only built in 1993. Dementia care policies have changed and residential building land is scarce.



The cherry trees went a couple of months ago.

Last leeks

Strawberry sTart

2 New p

Guerrillas on Corn St.

The broad beans sown in a disused window box on Corn Street are coming along nicely, although perhaps the vomit from weekend revellers is slightly too acidic to be a beneficial nutrient. No blackfly though.

Escape to victory

E.C.C.C. v Stratton on the Fosse C.C.

The Easton Cowboys Saturday XI gathered at a blustery Frenchay for their encounter with Stratton on the Fosse and in so doing completed an alphabetical hat-trick of meetings with opposition sides beginning with an 'S'.

Skipper Joe broke another emerging pattern by winning the toss and elected to bowl on a dry, worn wicket and the fielders, sharing a common border with the adjacent Frenchay match, assumed their positions amongst the randomly scattered rabbit droppings.

Both Joe and Rich produced tight, miserly opening spells as the opposition batsmen barely troubled the scorers, culminating in an attempted stolen run, excellently curtailed by a direct run out from the arm of Ben P - the original BP1?

The next wicket was a while in coming, until, like buses and bailiffs, two turned up at once and the fielders crowded the bat for Ev's hat-trick ball. As it was, he had to wait a while longer for his third wicket, when some uneven bounce and straight bowling saw the ball roll into the base of the stumps.

The score accelerated a bit as SotF tried to push on, aided by a short boundary and lightening fast outfield but despite a few slip ups in the field the Cowboys continued to apply pressure, triggering another run out. Kahlu bowled particularly well under pressure and was unfortunate not to bag any scalps as your correspondent took the long view, scuttling from deep mid-wicket to deep mid-wicket.

Angelo, wearing the gloves, executed an inspired run out by parrying a high return throw directly onto the stumps, earning him a few if not the majority of the Cider Moment nominations and destroying the opposition's base for a late assault.

Good return spells from Joe and Ev and half a dozen shuffling straight overs from the bottom end helped to restrict the score to a slightly below par 161-9 from the 40 overs.

Ev and his hired help provided the tea and an opportunity to play 'what / where's the contents of the roll' topped off with a melon / strawberry melange, while those batting lower down the order took full advantage of the plethora of scones, jam and cream.

With DB absent injured, Angelo and Paul took the brunt of the SotF opening attack which fully exploited the variable bounce and saw the unfortunate Paul back in the hutch early. Incoming batsman Ben, from the outset more correct than a proofreader with a case of Tipp-Ex, helped Angelo to negate the opening venom until the latter was caught on the attack.

Ev played a watchful innings as the sky darkened and the score crept up and was unlucky to be stumped from the rebound off a fumbling keeper, bringing Kahlu to the crease. Earlier, a thunderstorm had been forecast for 7pm and as rainfall radars were consulted there was some mention of needing to be ahead of the run rate. Ever the man for this type of situation, despite claiming to have learned a new word, 'patience', Kahlu soon dispersed the opposition fielders as Ben raised the tempo too and reached his fifty.

However, when Kahlu was dismissed the Cowboys were still seventy runs off their target, reliant on Steve's steadying presence while Ben continued with immaculate drives and pulls, riding his luck when spilt on a couple of occasions. Before long the end was in sight and for a time it looked like it might coincide with a century, but eventually Man of the Match Ben was caught for the Antipodean devil's number, leaving the new blood (surely?) BP2 to join Steve in carrying the Cowboys over the line to the warm fuzzy glow of a five wicket victory.

Currently not quite right Scorecard

Salvia Officialis

Totnes earworm

Can't get rid of this earworm, a fine pop song and the best thing to come out of Totnes since KLF pop prankster Jimmy Cauty.

Green news

Spuds progress

Some 'earth up' their spuds more than others and some remove the flowers to concentrate growth below soil level. Water helps more than either.

Nature sown

Gherkin seedlings sprouting where they did so well last year.

Chocolate puns

E.C.C.C v Stanton Drew

Following a long-awaited deluge that left gardening cricketers with a split personality, the wicket at Frys in Keynsham was a bit soggy for the Cowboys' home match against Stanton Drew. Clearly, the only sane option was to bowl first and use the unpredictability of the wicket to get the opposition out, but for the second week running the benevolent Saturday skipper refused to deny the late-arriving opposition captain the chance to toss and when the coin landed in the mud, it was the Cowboys' opening batsmen who padded up.

It was still sunny, muggy and hot enough to melt a factory full of Crunchie bars (had production of the aforementioned honeycombed chocolate not ceased at the Somerdale site last autumn and moved to Poland) but more importantly, make the ball swing. Dave and Paul battled watchfully as the opening bowlers produced bananas, until Paul was bowled by a peach.

The score trickled along while Simon found his feet, until last week's centurion fell early, bringing Ev to the wicket. As Simon stroked the ball around at one end, Ev cautiously blocked at the other, producing a nice symmetry of dots against his name in the scorebook until eventually being caught at the wicket. Steve then provided a similar supporting foil for Simon, who by now had found the boundary a few times and was helping the score along. When he too was bowled, for a Man of the Match winning innings of 34 and Steve had found the keeper's gloves, Kahlu and Gretch came to the wicket to try a different approach, the former smacking the ball into the trees and provoking an extra flurry of blossom.

Such a direct approach was fraught with danger and sure enough, Kahlu soon departed to a good tumbling catch near the boundary, bringing the owner of a 'messy' ankle to join Gretch at the wicket. Defying probability, the ankle was further battered by a mistimed drive a few balls later but held up for a few twenty-two yard scampers. A couple of welcome pies were gratefully gobbled and sent to the boundary until greedily grabbing at one out of the crease, the keeper removed the bails.

Joe came in and looked stylish with the bat for a while, befitting of his orange cap, Gretch departed having arrived at double figures and Rich succumbed after a promising boundary. Not out batsman Rob, seeing the ball well, helped give some respectability to an otherwise rather crumbly and flaky batting performance as the Cowboys went to tea to contemplate defending 127 runs.

The overlap of sporting seasons brought cricketers and footballers into close proximity in the clubhouse as polystyrene plates were impatiently shuffled and doughnuts eagerly anticipated, but as players returned to the top field afterwards, the sky was past overcast and at an ominous dark grey.

The first spots of rain came as the Cowboys gathered towels and prepared to take to the field, but it was the opposition batsmen who declared the earliest interest in not wanting to get wet, retreating to the cover of chestnut trees. For the next hour, depending on your vision and outlook, the weather was improving / worsening and there was every / no chance of further play. There were those in both camps who at one time or another wandered towards and loitered around the wicket looking for a denouement, but in the end, there wasn't even a Wispa.

The match was abandoned just after six o'clock for a cider Cider Moment in the skittle alley.

Scorecard

Callaloo

"Immortal amarant, a flower which once
In paradise, fast by the tree of life,
Began to bloom; but soon for man's offence
To heaven removed, where first it grew, there grows,
And flowers aloft, shading the fount of life,
And where the river of bliss through midst of heaven
Rolls o'er elysian flowers her amber stream:
With these that never fade the spirits elect
Bind their resplendent locks."- John Milton, Paradise Lost

"Don't you have any West Indian people living near you?" she asked, when I looked blank at the word callaloo.
"Yes," I replied, a little confused. She's Jamaican and lives a hundred yards away. I'd gone round to give her a tomato plant and she'd invited me to dig up a few pumpkin seedlings in a corner of her garden. Something unfamiliar caught my eye and the answer to my enquiry was callaloo, which I'd thought was the name of a recipe, not a plant. Indeed, it turns out that the plant is amaranth, of which there are about sixty different species, used culinarily for centuries and scribbled about by Milton and Samuel Taylor Coleridge, amongst others.

I had even less luck when I asked her the name of a red, ball-like flower, which I recognise from my youth and is usually crawling with ants: "It's a plant," she said.

Knitbone

Take a good handful of comfrey leaves, aka knitbone, scrunch up and stuff down sock. Hopefully, the bruised ankle will have recovered sufficiently by the weekend.

Apparently, it's all down to the 5-ureidohydantoin, aka allantoin, a chemical compound present in the urine of most mammals, which is presumably what gives the comfrey brew in the water butt, used for feeding plants, such a strong pong. Allantoin is used in a lot of skin preparations and helps tissue repair.

Wikipedia

Thymus vulgaris

Thymol, present in the essential oil, is the main active ingredient in Listerine mouthwash.

Wikipedia

Connecticut King

Anagrams on a postcard, if you must.

Easton Cowboys v Shepton Mallet

The Easton Cowboys Saturday XI were eagerly anticipating the commencement of their campaign in Division Three, up bright and early and waiting at Frenchay for the opposition. And waiting. Leaving aside comments about whether our new friends in the south had enough agricultural diesel to drive their tractors to the big city, there was mention of the regulations pertaining to late arrival and the forfeiture of the right to toss.

Naturally, new skipper Joe wasn't so churlish as to deny the Shepton Mallet captain the opportunity when they eventually arrived, by which time the Cowboys were nicely warmed up and ready to bowl. The opposition duly won the toss and put the Cowboys into bat.

Angelo and debutant Dave B navigated through the opening overs, cautious of the variable bounce and pace of the hard oatmeal wicket. When Angelo departed after hitting three boundaries, Ben continued the Cowboys' circumspect approach as the total crawled along. Having done a lot of hard work before he was eventually caught out, he was replaced by Evan who joined an increasingly solid looking Dave. Together they forged a steady partnership, then both cut loose to launch sixes and distribute the ball to all corners of the fast outfield.

When Ev was stumped attacking the ball, Kahlu did well to continue and build upon the momentum, hitting six boundaries in his 32 not out and unfortunate to miss out on more, thanks to some very competent fielding by the opposition. Meanwhile, at the other end, Dave had cruised well past fifty and as the innings approached its conclusion the big question was whether he'd get enough of the strike to make it to a century. This he answered emphatically in the final over, with one of the flattest sixes possible, punched powerfully over point: It was a remarkable performance and having carried his bat, he remained not out on 104, from a respectable and defendable innings total of 198 for 3.



Joe did well to shoulder tea responsibilities in addition to captaincy and somehow just managed to make it feed the multitude. Buoyed by this and the welcome vocal home support and scorer, the Cowboys took to the field.

Disconcertingly, the runs came easily to the opposition batsmen who used the pace of the ball and outfield to their advantage, seeing off Joe and Rich's opening attack. When the breakthrough finally came with Gretch taking a catch behind the stumps, bowler Ev barely noticed and had already started back to his mark. Fortunately, other fielders and the sporting batsmen were more aware, the former joining in muted celebration as the latter left the field.

As the flow of runs continued unabated, it was becoming clear that the Cowboys were not alone in having a solid, aggressive opening batsman who was also capable of finding the aerial route to the boundary. There was little in the pitch for the bowlers who found themselves buffeted by a strong crosswind which didn't help their cause and after a spirited but fruitless spell by Rob, your correspondent was called upon to replace him at the top end while Kahlu tried from the other.

A rare false shot facilitated a caught and bowled while Kahlu was eventually rewarded with the scalp of the opening bat, who departed for 91, thanks to Ben's excellently judged catch in the deep. Unfortunately the runs kept coming, the more so from the seventh and eighth bowlers to be called upon as the batsmen found the boundary with increasing regularity and in the 31st over the opposition overhauled the total for the loss of three wickets.

Any euphoria from the earlier Cider Moment of Dave's ton-reaching six had all but evaporated, as had Dave, clearly alarmed by the demands on his wallet made by the other jug-expecting Cowboys, who'd also voted him Man of the Match. Nevermind, there were lots of positives, our new friends in the south were sound, Rich got the barbecue out and did things to bits of pig, there was beer and dubstep on the way back to the Plough and your correspondent hadn't yet realised that despite a bag of ice his ankle was the size of a melon.

Scorecard

New greens for old

As the kale and sprouting broccoli comes to an end in yellow flowers, the first of the spinach is ready and makes a change from the rather tasteless but reliable chard.

Verbascum phoeniceum

Also known as the purple mullein, this verbascum comes back year after year, no matter how cold the winter, but never quite this early.

Angelica archangelica

Used for all kinds of culinary, medicinal and recreational purposes, the angelica plants have flowered several weeks earlier than usual this year.

Wikipedia: Angelica

Ribes Grossularia

With rhubarb being first past the post in the season's fruit crops, gooseberries look like coming second, although strawberries may yet get the majority.

Seed crop

The Late Good Friday

12 Monkeys

The ground at Frenchay was bathed in warm spring sunshine and beneath the winter cobwebs the pitch appeared to be bone dry. The toss was dispensed with; presumably in these cash-strapped times nobody had a spare coin, besides, skipper Ev had amicably negotiated the terms of engagement with the opposition and everyone seemed happy for the Cowboys to take to the field.

Earlier, there had been murmurs that the Cowboys only had ten men and yet the field looked well populated and the ball always seemed to find a fielder. Remarkably shrewd captaincy, perhaps? Winter net sessions appeared to have paid off as the bowlers all settled in to a tidy line and length, restricting Frenchay to less than three an over, even if the batsmen initially proved difficult to dislodge. A brilliant spell of bowling by Wayne should have been rewarded earlier when the batsman was duped into offering a tame lob over the bowler's head, only for mid-on to trot around and spill a dolly like a greased piglet. His blushes were spared when Rob dislodged the batsman a few balls later, on his way to a three wicket haul that earned him a joint man of the match award.

Otherwise, the fielding was sharp; Ev clutching a smart caught and bowled, Wayne holding a screamer in the slips and Joe hurdling the boundary fence with more aplomb than most Aintree nags, even if the ball had already beaten him to it. New blood Alex acquitted himself well, picking up a wicket in his first match and Angelo tumbled nimbly behind the stumps after a speedy recovery from his broken ankle.

For most of the innings it didn't look like Frenchay would muster more than 150, but unbeknown to most, the skip had decided to donate a few runs to the opposition in the final few overs 'to give the Cowboys some batting practice' and consequently Frenchay ended up on 163 for 9.

After tea, which comprised surely some of the whitest bread to ever leave an oven, the skip sat down to define the batting order, only to discover that there wasn't enough room on the scorecard. Somehow, the Cowboys had gone from thinking that they were one player short to having one extra and the once shrewd captain now appeared to be lacking some key skills. James valiantly extricated himself from the batting line up as Ev furtively rebooted his abacus, wondering if the opposition had noticed.

The Frenchay opening attack was lively and direct. Much too soon Angelo and Ben were removing their pads with few runs on the board and once Grant had departed too, the Cowboys were in dire need of the steadying presence of Steve. The score trickled along until Ev missed a straight yorker, your correspondent only narrowly avoiding the same fate before the pace was replaced by spin and he eventually heaved when he shouldn't oughta. Joe joined Steve for a while, whose batting earned him the other man of the match joint, but a respectable total was still a long way off.

Rich wagged the tail a little with a six over mid-off, but his failed attempt at a repeat two balls later saw the onset of mange. Rob, Wayne and Alex did all they could before the innings was humanely put to sleep, a little less than a hundred runs short of the target. At the end of the match, when Ev sheepishly informed the opposition captain that we'd accidentally fielded with twelve and the reply was, "Oh yeah, we knew," the winner of the Cider Moment was hardly in doubt.

Up and running

A 60th Wedding Anniversary Playlist

John Barry - Out of Africa Theme
Eric Coates - Music while you work
The Mccalmans - Over the sea to Skye
Edith Piaf - Je ne regrette rien
The Beatles - Blackbird
Karl Wallinger - She's the one
Billy Joel - Just the way you are
La Fille mal Gardee - Theme
Shostakovitch Piano Concerto No 2 Andante
Bizet - Au fond du Temple Saint
John Williams - Cavatina
Dave Brubeck/Rodgers & Hammerstein - Favourite things
Debussy - Clair de lune
Jerry Goldsmith -The Waltons Theme
Jean Sablon - Le fiacre
Eric Coates - By the Sleepy Lagoon
The Limeliters - Those Were The Days
Frank Sinatra - The Lady Is A Tramp
The Flamingoes - I only have eyes for you
Mendelssohn - Fingal's Cave
Fred Astaire - They Can't Take That Away from Me
Gene Kelly - Singing in the rain
Rodgers & Hammerstein - Edelweiss
Anton Karas - Harry Lime
Spike Jones - Cocktails For Two
Henry Mancini - Pink Panther Theme
Stan Tracey - Starless & Bible Black
The Beatles - All you need is love
Herman Hupfeld - As time goes by
Mendelssohn - Italian Symphony Nr.1
Zorba the Greek - Dance
Ella Fitzgerald/Mills Bros - Paper Moon
Thelonius Monk - Straight no chaser
Lee Hazelwood/Amiina - Hilli
Louis Armstrong - What A Wonderful World
Sherman Brothers - Feed the birds
Boccarini - Minuet
Rodgers & Hammerstein - Oh what a beautiful morning
Peter Skellern - Love is the sweetest thing
George Gershwin - An American in Paris
Ronald Binge - Sailing By
Vaughan Williams - Lark Ascending
Shirley Bassey - Diamonds Are Forever
Shostakovich - Jazz Suite Nr2
Mercer Hoagy Carmichael - Skylark
Mozart - Soave sia il vento
Bailero - Songs from Auvergne
Rodgers & Hammerstein - Happy Talk

(Random play, ad nauseam)

Docked

In the net

Warming up

Growing up

A Host

Memory Lane

Following extensive refurbishment, a former care home in Avonvale Road, Redfield, is about to open as specialist dementia care home. Great - except the majority of dementia patients want to continue living at home: Occupancy rates in similar establishments are so low that many have closed and now Bristol City Council are recommending that this should be the only such care home in the city.

Sound man

Despite turning up on R4's Today programme and dissing the new Radiohead album because it lacks 'immediate appeal', the world is a better place now that Andy Kershaw is broadcasting again (Music Planet BBC R3 ). After an absence of several years, which at one time looked permanent, he's been allowed to do what he does best, namely, go to far away lands and report on the music and culture.

Independent article 2008

Poultry Profit

Amongst the very good reasons not to bother eating meat, there is now another: You'll encourage more couples to take part in BBC2's A Farmer's Life for Me, which is basically The Apprentice, taken out of the City and plonked in rural Suffolk, with Jimmy Doherty playing Alan Sugar.

Profit's still the name of the game of course and this week the contestants are challenged to devise schemes to make cash from poultry. It turns out that the ability to make a fox proof poultry run is not as important as plucking (sorry) a marketing idea 'outside the box', out of the box, as it were.

And no, I don't want your ridiculous dead bird stuffed into a jar for sixteen quid thanks and neither does anyone else in their right mind. Put your inseminators and incubators and slaughterhouses away. You're all fired, get orf the land and let me plant something. When will they ever learn?